Juice is the Word
Yes, I saw the commercial. Fat Joe walking along asking us to Join the Reboot, but before we did to check out his documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" to see why we should.
Yes, I saw it. And, I'll admit I was intrigued. But I pushed that feeling down and ignored it and told it to 'go away'. I have to be firm with myself about documentaries. I have a weakness.
Then I saw the damn commercial again.
I pushed the feeling down again.
I saw the commercial a third time and let myself slip just that tiny bit to go check out the website to see how long the documentary was. Full length. 97 minutes. No, no, I would not be watching a freaking full length documentary on-line. Certainly not today.
Then I saw the goddamn commercial again. Okay. I'm riding the train. A commuter trip. It so happens almost the exact length of the film. 91 minutes.
I watched the fucking film.
Sigh.
So, I'm juicing. Yep. I have "Joined the Reboot". Actually, I am 8 days in this thing so this is not some "Julia and Julie" blog or whatever where you get a daily drama dip into my life. Frankly, I am too goddamned busy shoving celery, carrots, beets, kale, chard, apples, and pears down my brand new Acme 4000 Pro Juicer to think about blogging daily. You would not believe the shit you can squeeze a drop out of. Frankly, I'm not sure why we want to squeeze a drop out of a turnip, but what the shit. I'm all in. I love doing a bat shit crazy thing every now and then, so this is it for July.
Let me update you on what's happened so far as some articles and blogs may not tell you these things when they're extolling the virtues of the juice plan. I want to say that I do feel pretty great. Yes, I have great energy and I am starting to get compliments on my "make-up" (thanks bitches), even though my "make-up" hasn't changed a bit. So, my skin is looking pretty damn good. I'm not that hungry, believe it or not, except when I happen to smell cooking food. Any food that is cooking. Except cabbage.
Having said all that, I also want to say that the first few days are a bitch. You know why they call it a 'reboot' because it feels like a kick in the ass. I don't want to even talk about the poop except to say, you are not dying, it's the beets. And your friends will be negative assholes. They will tell you how unhealthy it is to do it, while forgetting that you might be unhealthy to begin with even though you don't weigh 300 pounds. Other diets seem to be more in vogue--so if you want social acceptance, give up your carbs. Other than that, carry on.
And for anyone who wants to try it, I say remember the words of Fat Joe when he wasn't fat anymore:
"Good on you for trying."
Let's have more of that positivity in everything, shall we?
Yes, I saw it. And, I'll admit I was intrigued. But I pushed that feeling down and ignored it and told it to 'go away'. I have to be firm with myself about documentaries. I have a weakness.
Then I saw the damn commercial again.
I pushed the feeling down again.
I saw the commercial a third time and let myself slip just that tiny bit to go check out the website to see how long the documentary was. Full length. 97 minutes. No, no, I would not be watching a freaking full length documentary on-line. Certainly not today.
Then I saw the goddamn commercial again. Okay. I'm riding the train. A commuter trip. It so happens almost the exact length of the film. 91 minutes.
I watched the fucking film.
Sigh.
So, I'm juicing. Yep. I have "Joined the Reboot". Actually, I am 8 days in this thing so this is not some "Julia and Julie" blog or whatever where you get a daily drama dip into my life. Frankly, I am too goddamned busy shoving celery, carrots, beets, kale, chard, apples, and pears down my brand new Acme 4000 Pro Juicer to think about blogging daily. You would not believe the shit you can squeeze a drop out of. Frankly, I'm not sure why we want to squeeze a drop out of a turnip, but what the shit. I'm all in. I love doing a bat shit crazy thing every now and then, so this is it for July.
Let me update you on what's happened so far as some articles and blogs may not tell you these things when they're extolling the virtues of the juice plan. I want to say that I do feel pretty great. Yes, I have great energy and I am starting to get compliments on my "make-up" (thanks bitches), even though my "make-up" hasn't changed a bit. So, my skin is looking pretty damn good. I'm not that hungry, believe it or not, except when I happen to smell cooking food. Any food that is cooking. Except cabbage.
Having said all that, I also want to say that the first few days are a bitch. You know why they call it a 'reboot' because it feels like a kick in the ass. I don't want to even talk about the poop except to say, you are not dying, it's the beets. And your friends will be negative assholes. They will tell you how unhealthy it is to do it, while forgetting that you might be unhealthy to begin with even though you don't weigh 300 pounds. Other diets seem to be more in vogue--so if you want social acceptance, give up your carbs. Other than that, carry on.
And for anyone who wants to try it, I say remember the words of Fat Joe when he wasn't fat anymore:
"Good on you for trying."
Let's have more of that positivity in everything, shall we?